Hello Left Hand? My name is Right Hand. What have you been up to?

As you can see from my earlier posts, my mother’s fingerprints have failed at USCIS (Immigration) on a couple of occasions now. After the first time (Feb. 14th), they sent us another notice for March 11th. We go March 11th and they process her twice. We are told that they only print twice and they did hers three times, so we’re done, right? WRONG.

We get a notice in the mail that her prints were unreadable again, so we have to get a background check for her in Suffolk County (her current county of residence) and any city she’s lived in for the past five years (Katy, Texas). Then we’ll have to bring her to USCIS and have her attest to a questionnaire in the presence of an agent. Can this be done in Hempstead, I ask the person at the 800 number? I don’t know, they reply. Probably not. (Sigh.)

So, since it looks like we have to go all the way into Manhattan, I figure it would make more sense for my mom to have valid ID instead of expired ID. First, a non-driver’s ID from Motor Vehicle. Tiffany is nice enough to offer to take my mom to DMV, but of course, it doesn’t work. They won’t accept her expired passport, they won’t take her Social Security Card (it’s metal and was issued about 50 or 60 years ago by Social Security). So, no go.

Wednesday: I take my mom to Social Security to get a new Social Security Card. They won’t accept her expired passport or her expired license. They won’t accept the metal Social Security Card, even though they issued it. After giving me a bit of a hard time, I tell her that we have been running around in circles trying to get this straightened out. I can’t get a license with out the Social Security Card and I can’t get the Social Security Card without a license? So, after looking over my mother’s 18 pieces of identification that she won’t accept, she accepts an AARP membership card (no picture) as identification. SCARY.

Saturday: While we’re waiting for the Social Security Card to come, I ask Tom to take my mom and get her picture taken for her passport and send in the application, pictures and old passport for renewal. I leave typewritten, detailed instructions of what to send, because I will be away and won’t be able to do it. It’s basically the first thing in this process that I’ve asked Tom to take care of. He sends the application and pictures overnight to the Passport Service Center, but neglects to send the passport, figuring that my instructions are wrong and they just need a copy. WTF?!?!? So, I come home from a nice relaxing two days in Amagansett to this. I lose it, to put it mildly.

Monday: I have to call the Passport Service Center and see what the procedure is for getting the passport to them, as I don’t want to send it without a referral number and have it get lost in the mix. They tell me that I have to wait for either a phone call or for the passport to be returned in the mail. Sigh again. Thankfully, there was a call on my machine on Thursday of that week, asking us to call.

Thursday: I call the Passport Processing Center and they tell me that they can’t talk to me; they need to talk to my Mom (who is staying at my brother’s for a couple of days to watch his kids). I knew I should have pretended to be her, but want to do things the right way. I tell her that I’ll conference my mother in, but if all she is going to do is give us a reference number so we can send the passport in, I will be the one handling it and she can just tell me. She sighs I can get behind that, I’ve been sighing A LOT lately) and tells me that she really needs to talk to my mom. I tell her again that I’ll conference her in. She sighs again and tells me its okay. She just needs the old passport. Of course, my mother brought it with her to my brothers, and my lunch hour is half over, so I’m not going to get there and get back in enough time. Sigh. I stop by after work and pick it up.

Friday: I overnight the passport. It arrives on Monday. We have her passport on Wednesday. Alright, things are looking up, right?

In the midst of all this freaking nuttiness, we get another fingerprint appointment notice for my mom for May 7th. WTF again? They said we wouldn’t have to go back, but maybe we can keep the appointment, bring the questionnaire and the police clearances and take care of it all at once. Only one way to find out – call USCIS and ask. What a train wreck their phone system is. After being on for about 20 minutes and pressing every freaking option they give you (because there is no specific option for getting contradictory freaking information from USCIS – and there should be!), I finally get a person. He can’t answer my question (What? No? You’re kidding?), but he gives me an email address for the NYC field office, tells me to email my question and they will get back to me within 48 hours. Yeah, right. Good thing I wasn’t holding my breath. Over 48 hours pass and I send a second email, telling them I was told that I would have an answer within 48 hours and they are handing out contradictory information and I need to know what to do.

Today (5/1/08): I get an automated response from USCIS, telling me that they will get back to me in 3 business days from their receipt of my email if the question can’t be covered in the information contained in their response. Well, guess what Sparky? It can’t and the information in your email is outdated. The fees are incorrect and the I600A has become and I800A due to the Hague Convention.

Surprise, surprise!! I get an email from USCIS, telling me that we should disregard the fingerprint notice. They emailed a copy of the document my mother needs to complete and sign in the presence of a witness and a notary. So, no need to go into Manhattan or Hempstead? Great. The document says that she’s signing in the presence of a USCIS agent, but the email (thank God I got it in writing) says that it can be done here as long as it’s witnessed and notarized. We’ll see. It’s done and in FedEx for delivery.